CHAPTER FIVE

The Caterpillar Gives Some Advice

The Caterpillar and Alice both looked silently at each other for what seemed like quite a long time. At last the Caterpillar stopped smoking, took the hookah out of his mouth and addressed Alice in a lazy, sleepy voice.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"I don't really know, Sir, just at present," Alice replied shyly. "I remember who I was when I woke up this morning, but I've changed many times since this morning."

"And what do you mean by that?" said the Caterpillar, who was becoming more interested in Alice. "Explain yourself."

"I'm afraid I can't explain myself, Sir," said Alice, "because I'm really not myself."

"I don't see," said the Caterpillar.

"Sorry I can't explain things more clearly," Alice replied politely, "for I don't understand it myself. I've been so many sizes today that I'm feeling very confused."

"No, I still don't understand why you're confused," replied the Caterpillar.

"Well, perhaps you haven't had a similar experience yourself yet," Alice said. "But when the time comes that you have to enter into your next stage of life, and after that, into a beautiful butterfly, I would think you will find it rather strange. And you wouldn't be able to help feeling confused. Don't you think so?"

"Not a bit," said the Caterpillar.

"Well, perhaps your feelings are quite different," Alice replied quickly. She was becoming impatient with the uncaring Caterpillar. "All I know is that it's happening to me and I feel very odd."

"You!" cried the angry Caterpillar. "Who are you?" he asked again.

Now they were back to the same point in the conversation they had begun with. Alice was quite a bit angry at the Caterpillar for making such rude remarks. She stood up straight and tall, held in her breath, and said very seriously, "I demand that you tell me who you are first."

"Why?" asked the Caterpillar.

"Another ridiculous question," thought Alice, when she couldn't think of an answer. Since the Caterpillar seemed to be in a very bad and disagreeable mood, she angrily walked off.

"Come back!" he called after her. "I've something important to say."

This was a positive turn of events, thought Alice, and turned around. After all, she thought, he might even tell her something that was worth hearing. For a few minutes, the Caterpillar smoked his hookah without speaking, but at last, he again folded his arms, took the hookah pipe out of his mouth, and said, "So you think you've changed, do you?"

"I'm sure I have, Sir," said Alice, "and none too little."

"What size is it that you want to be?"

"Oh, I don't really care about size," Alice replied quickly, "I'm just tired of changing all the time, you know."

"I don't know," said the Caterpillar.

Alice said nothing because she knew she was close to losing her temper and shouting very unpleasant answers back at the Caterpillar.

"Are you happy now?" asked the Caterpillar.

"Well, I wouldn't mind being a little larger than I am now, Sir, if you wouldn't mind helping me," answered Alice. "Only three inches is such an awful height to be."

"It is a very good height!" replied the Caterpillar angrily, as he was only about three inches himself. He sat upright as much as he could and began again.

"But it's not the height I'm used to," begged Alice.

"You'll get comfortable with it in a short time," said the caterpillar. With that he started to smoke his hookah again.

This time Alice decided to patiently wait until he chose to speak again. In a minute or two the Caterpillar stopped smoking, took the hookah out of his mouth, yawned, and shook himself.

Then he moved off the mushroom with his many hands and crawled away into the grass, remarking as he went away, "One side will make you grow taller, and the other side will make you grow shorter."

One side of what? The other side of what? Alice wondered. Just as she was about to ask, the Caterpillar answered, "Of the mush-room." It was just as if she had asked the question aloud. When she looked for the Caterpillar, she discovered that he had disappeared.

Alice looked thoughtfully at the mushroom for a minute or two. Then she reached as far as she could with her arms and tore off a small bit of the edge with each hand.

"And now I wonder which is which?" she asked herself, eating just a little of the bit out of her right hand. She waited to see the effect. The next moment her chin was down at her feet.

Her chin was so tightly pressed against her feet that she could barely open her mouth. However, she finally was able to swallow a tiny piece from her left hand.

"My head's free at last," said Alice delightfully. But she soon became alarmed when she found that she couldn't even see her own shoulders. In fact, all she could see, when she looked down, was her enormously long neck which looked like a tall plant that was growing out of a sea of green leaves far below her.

"I wonder what that sea of green is?" asked Alice. "Where have my shoulders gone? Oh, my poor hands, I can't even see you!"

Because there wasn't any way to bring her hands up to her head, she decided to try and bring her head down to them. She was surprised to find that her neck was able to bend easily in all directions, like a snake. She was able to curve it downwards into a nice bend and soon discovered that she had been looking at the tops of the trees.

A loud hissing sound made her go back in a hurry. A rather big pigeon had flown directly up to her face and was starting to beat her with its wings.

"Snake!" screamed the Pigeon.

"I'm not a snake," said Alice, upset at being called such an ugly creature. "Leave me alone"

"Snake, I say again," loudly cried the Pigeon. "Oh, how I hate snakes. I have been watching out for snakes both night and day. Why, I haven't been able to sleep in weeks."

"I'm very sorry to hear that you've been bothered and upset because of snakes," said Alice, who was starting to feel quite sorry for the bird.

"Just as I thought I was free from all snakes since I was in the highest tree in the woods," continued the Pigeon, whose voice was becoming a high scream, "one of them comes down from the sky!"

"But I'm not a snake, I tell you," said Alice. "I'm a—I'm a—"

"Well! What are you then?" inquired the Pigeon.

"I'm just a little girl," explained Alice, although she was beginning to doubt this herself, remembering all the changes she had been through that day.

"That sounds all very nice," said the Pigeon hatefully. "I've seen many little girls before, but never have I seen one with such a neck as yours. No, no. You're indeed a snake, and there's no use in saying you're not. I suppose you're going to tell me next that you've never tasted an egg before, either."

"Of course I've tasted eggs," said Alice, who was a very truthful girl. "Little girls like to eat eggs as often as snakes do, you know."

"I don't believe you," said the Pigeon, "but if they do like to eat eggs, why, then they must also be a kind of snake. That's all I can say."

The Pigeon's idea was so new to Alice that she had to be silent for a minute or two. The Pigeon took the opportunity to add, "I know you're looking for eggs. I know that as well as I could know anything else. What difference does it make to me whether you're a little girl or a snake?"

"It matters quite a bit to me," replied Alice hastily, "but as it is, I'm not looking for any eggs. If I was, I wouldn't want yours anyway. I don't like to eat eggs that aren't cooked."

"Well, go away then," said the Pigeon unpleasantly as he settled down in his nest.

Alice bent down again among the trees but her neck kept getting caught among the branches. Every now and then she had to stop and untwist it.

After a while she remembered still holding the pieces of mushroom in her hands, so she began taking tiny bits first at one and then at the other. Sometimes she would grow taller and sometimes shorter. Finally, after eating many little pieces, she managed to bring herself back down to her normal height.

It felt really strange to be her normal height again, but she got used to it again after a few minutes. Soon she was even talking to herself in her usual way. "Now, that's half my plan finished. The next thing is to return to that beautiful garden, but how in the world am I going to do that?"

As she was speaking to herself, she entered a large open space with a little house in it about four feet high. "Whoever lives here," thought Alice, "would be really frightened if they were to meet me while I'm this height."

So, Alice began to eat the right-hand bit of mushroom again and did not go near the house until she had shrunk again. This time she was only about nine inches tall.

(end of section)